Practice and Treatment Philosophy

A relationship can be a source of one's greatest joy and also one’s deepest pain. While it often begins with passion, excitement, closeness, and friendship, it can deteriorate into a relationship where there is distance, anger and indifference. Anyone can fall in love, but staying in love requires consistent effort and knowledge. Maintaining intimacy, mastering life’s challenges, preserving a satisfying sexual relationship and raising children, requires attentiveness, commitment and communication. A marriage has different stages and with each stage there are challenges to overcome.

As a Psychologist and Sexologist I often get asked-“Do you work with couples?”. Because life is about attachments and separations and alliances are often fragile, working with the “us” rather than the “I” is critical. Intimacy and closeness conjures up associations which are painful and anxiety provoking.

Most couples show up in treatment when physical intimacy, relationships within and outside the family, and even simple daily tasks of living have significantly deteriorated and it appears as though differences are irreconcilable. Couples therapy can help remove the impasse and stimulate growth.

There are various approaches in couples therapy. Dr. Winter employs elements of psychoanalytic/psychodynamic, systems, group and behavioral oriented therapies.

Infidelity is a pervasive problem today. An ever expanding opportunity for constant stimulation by the media has triggered peoples primitive desires. Married people often believe that gratification is not available inside but outside the marriage. Affairs, infidelity, addiction and cybersex are all part of our present culture. There is an increasing sense of entitlement and a failure to have realistic expectations. However, mature and healthy couples can enjoy a long-term monogamous relationship.

Couples Therapy

Couples therapy helps couples, married or not, identify, understand and resolve conflicts and improve their connection. It gives couples the tools to communicate better, negotiate differences and heal wounds. The couple or “us” is the patient, however, there may be times in which one or both parties require individual help.

Individual therapy is indicated in instances where your partner refuses to attend sessions or if you or your partner is coping with mental illness, substance abuse or other issues.

Couples therapy aims to identify and resolve unhealthy and destructive patterns, remove blame, enhance affection, respect, closeness, cooperation and accountability, foster communication and regain the romance and passion that was once a vital component of the relationship. Unwritten rules are made conscious and understood and as the couple heals they are re-written. With reworking the marital script, the “us” can move past the pains and rebuild the relationship to one that is healthier and more mature. In cases where there are irreconcilable differences, therapy can help couples separate and move on.

Common Relationship Problems

Challenges that threaten relationships include:

Infidelity and Loyalty
Cybersex and Porn Addiction
Sexual Addiction
Domestic Violence
Ineffective Communication
Life Issues-illness, loss, death and disability
Loss of respect
Reduction or loss of sexual interest
Sexual dysfunction or difficulties
High-Conflict
Parenting
Money
Step-family conflicts
Alcohol, Drug or Gambling Addiction

Dr. Winter works with relationships and couples of all types, heterosexual, gay/lesbian and mixed, as well as at all stages of attachment and separation. She is an approved clinical supervisor for students of sex therapy.

Couples therapy is done in a standard session, however, multiple sessions can be scheduled for more intensive and quicker results.

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